Empaths: The Part That Nobody is Talking About

Being an Empath is more than just ‘picking up on other people’s emotions.’ Here’s what’s happening at an energetic level.

I got voted the moodiest girl in my graduating high school class. And I was moody about it.

As much as I didn’t want my classmates to be right, it was true. I was moody. Floods of emotion pummeled inside of me day after day. It seemed as if they came out of nowhere — crashing within me like giant waves on the beach — and rarely made sense.

I’d come home from school every day exhausted, moody, unsettled, mad…wondering what on Earth was wrong with me. Why was I so moody?

(Spoiler alert: I was an empath and didn’t know it.)

The only time I ever felt some semblance of peace was when I was by myself. Being alone in my bedroom or outside in nature for hours helped me calm down a bit and begin to stabilize. The waves of emotion became smaller, letting me notice that at my core, I was peaceful, curious, funny, and gentle.

But whenever I was around other people, I’d suddenly become inexplicably moody. Annoyed, angry, anxious, scared, sad, and full of shame. It was often looked at as ‘moody teenager stuff’ or blamed on the stress from the Advanced Math exam coming up that week.

A lot of empaths don’t like themselves very much because of this.

They are constantly asking themselves: Why am I like this? How can I be happy and having fun with my friends one minute and then suddenly feel embarrassed and mad?

The answer? Because I was moody. Sometimes even a label like that can provide a tiny bit of explanation. And also lots of space to spiritually bypass. Which I did.

But moodiness wasn’t actually a label. It definitely wasn’t an excuse to bypass.

It was a symptom. A symptom that many empaths experience.

I didn’t know it then, but I was an empath.

I didn’t learn what that word meant until nearly 15 years later. In that time, I went from a moody teenager to a moody bitch. Walking around in the world in near constant emotional turmoil and behaving in ways that weren’t actually in alignment with my integrity or my spirit caused harm to a lot of people, including myself. Being an empath felt more like a curse than a gift.

What is an Empath?

Being an empath is more than “picking up on other people’s emotions.” The book The Empowered Empath by Rose Rosetree describes an empath as “someone with at least one significant gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be another person.”

And while plenty of humans are deeply empathic toward others, only an estimated 1–2% of them are naturally gifted as empaths.

These ‘empath gifts’ come switched on and ready to use at birth. But, you have no idea you actually have them. This is true for many gifts humans are blessed with. For example, a child doesn’t know he has an artistic gift switched on at birth until he begins drawing and starts realizing his artistic gift emerge. His gift came switched on at birth, too, and there was a process of discovery of those gifts as he learned and grew.

While it is similar for an Empath, an Empath doesn’t have a tangible representation of their gifts, like a hand-drawn portrait. It can be tricky to make the connection that the way you’re feeling is due to a gift you have of being an Empath. You have no idea how to use your gift appropriately. You definitely have no idea how to shut it off.

This is the skill I wanted to learn most of all. How do I shut this all off?

Many people, like me, don’t even know what those ‘empath gifts’ are. They just experience the symptoms of having these gifts and accept the labels tossed at them from others. Words like moody, bitchy, sensitive, over-reactive, nasty and crazy get hurled at empaths often.

These words can land like accusations and become just one more ‘outside thing’ we accept and internalize. Because that’s what empaths naturally do.

But in order to switch off our ‘empath gifts,’ it can be helpful to understand what’s going on energetically because while empaths experience deep and confusing emotions, it’s actually happening at an energetic level first.

Here’s how it works:

You have a bubble of energy around you. Some people refer to them as ‘auras.’

So does every human (and living thing!) on the planet.

Humans walk around in their bubble of energy, carrying all kinds of “packages of energy.” These energy packages contain un-metabolized emotions and negative, life-destructive beliefs. They contain unprocessed T/trauma from past events.

Our energy bubbles contain the collection of energy packages from our experiences since birth (and even before!).

Just like we eat food and our body extracts nutrients from it and expels the rest as waste, our energy packages are similar. Energy packages are the waste and residue of our life experiences.

Energy comes into our bubble. We extract and metabolize things from it (like life lessons, emotions, wisdom, life experience, etc). The left-over energetic and emotional ‘waste’ hangs out in our bubble as packages of energy waiting to be released.

The problem is even though these energy packages no longer serve us and are ready to be released, we never learned how to release them out of our energy bubble. So, they stay floating in our bubble and we carry them around with us. They make us feel stuck, stagnant, overwhelmed, unfocused, and triggered.

This is a lot for any human being. But, an empath has all of that, plus more.

In addition to a collection of energy packages from their own life experiences, empaths also have an accumulation of duplicates of energy packages from other people’s energy bubbles.

Empaths are carrying around energy packages that aren’t even theirs!

How Does An Empath Get Energy Packages From Other People?

When an unskilled empath — that is, someone who has their empath gifts turned on but doesn’t know they have them yet — walks into a room, their energy bubble connects to others in the room, even just for a split second. Those energy packages inside other people’s bubbles come back into their bubble.

These are some of the phrases I’ve heard empaths use when they are subconsciously connecting to the energy bubbles of other people in the room:

• “When I enter a room or talk to someone, I kinda automatically try to understand the vibes they (or the room) are giving off.”
• “I put out feelers to see what is going on.”
• “I walk into the room and can immediately feel the tension.”
• “I can easily pick up on what other people are feeling.”

This is what is happening:

This is why so many people tell empaths, “I always feel so much better after talking to you.” Because for a few moments, you’ve taken those energy packages from them. They can subconsciously sense it.

But, the relief they feel is brief. You didn’t really take their energy packages from them. They didn’t actually release them and let them go.

You essentially took copies of them. So, now you both have them. Imagine those new energy packages you took contained shame, fear and anger. You suddenly sense those new emotions in your energy bubble. You feel intense shame bubble up. You’re suddenly scared and angry. You suddenly want to snap at the people around you. You feel irritable and engulfed in shame and head home feeling hopeless. People notice an odd overreaction as you leave.

But, why would an empath do that?

Remember, empaths are born with their gifts turned on. Until you learn a new way, you will be subconsciously connecting with people dozens of times (if not hundreds!) each day without even realizing it. This means you can take on hundreds (or thousands!) of energy packages that aren’t even yours just while grocery shopping, going to the mall or hanging out at a party with friends.

When it comes to personal relationships, empaths often feel as though they can “take on” the weight of the emotions of the people they love. Maybe you’ve been with a relative or close friend and thought, “You’re going through this difficult time. I can take some of your sadness and anger and carry it with me.” And you do. You feel the weight of carrying some of their stuff. You’re strong. You can handle it. You love them and want to help them out, right?

That isn’t how it works.

You taking on their energy packages doesn’t alleviate them. It just means you are both carrying identical energy packages now. That doesn’t help them at all and it harms you.

Now, you’re carrying around a whole bunch of stuff that isn’t actually yours. But it’s inside you and around you, so naturally, you try to make it make sense. “Why am I so angry right now? Maybe it’s because she said that. Maybe it’s because my mom didn’t reply to my text.” We search our experience to find something that is making us angry. Or sad. Or anxious.

But what’s making you angry, or sad, or anxious isn’t actually your stuff! It’s the energy packages you just absorbed from the people around you at the movie theater, the library, or work.

An empath’s energy is subconsciously connecting to the energy bubble of others around you. These energies flow into you and confuse you. Make you behave erratically and be unsure of “which way is up.”

This is so much of the reason why I was moody in high school. My energy bubble was jam-packed with stuff I picked up from other people in the hallway, classes, and cafeteria.

Now that you understand what is going on with Empaths at an energetic level, you’re probably wondering how to fix the problem.

How do you go from a bogged-down energy bubble full of energy packages to a clear and bright bubble of energy that feels life-giving?

How do you protect your energy bubble and stop accumulating new energy packages from other people?

How do you prevent your energy from being drained in public so that you don’t need to hibernate for days after?

It’s easier than you might think. I walk you through the process of how to clear, heal, protect and replenish your Energy Bubble here. It is a foundational energetic practice for every human, especially us Empaths.